… Have you ever wanted something so bad but know you can’t have it? I don’t think that there is enough ice in the world to take away the pain on my cheek, the destruction of my heart. How did we get here?

There was a hollowness in his eyes, his thoughts as broken as the glass on the floor, Is this really the man he has become? When did he slip away? I stared into his eyes searching for the truth, but there was nothing there, for the first time I could see right through him. I don’t know what came over me.

God, he felt awful about hitting me, I know he didn’t mean to … do women really come preprogrammed to think these things after abuse? Was it really abuse? It hurt him more than it hurt me, I had never seen so much pain in his eyes, I’d never felt so much fear. My heart was gone, it abandoned me. It fled through the window and was already at the bottom of the fire escape hailing a taxi before I realized I was leaving.

What did I do? We can never go back to before.

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 16th, 2006 at 4:15 pm and is filed under Emily's Diary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.